Break.

I got some news last week that kind of excited me. I actually wish I hadn't heard it, it has only gotten my mind whirring. It's good news, really good news, just has me anxious. I actually want to put it on here but it's the kind of news where it's best to not talk about it in the open. Despite having 1,045 blogs I have to try to be discreet about certain things.

Which is a big thing in my life, being discreet. Or lowkey rather. I like to fly under the radar for the most part, be unseen and unheard unless it's called for. I used to be very loud verbally but now I like to just be loud with my writing but other than that, very chill.

Yesterday I bought Jay-Z's book, "Decoded" and so far I'm loving it. I honestly have never seen Jay-Z as super complex, just nice with words. This book doesn't make him come off as super complex, but it's nice to see the insight that goes into writing his songs. It gives a backstory for certain songs and it's nice seeing in Jay's words (or the person writing as he dictates) how he came up, what he was thinking, the influences he had.

I was in the studio Saturday and we recorded two songs. Remixes to Deuces (which is played out to me) and Black & Yellow (which is also played out). Then I did a song of my own, just a short 1 minute song. The quality didn't come off great, and my flow was less than impressive but I liked that song better than the other two we recorded. It was more introverted, and much more ... personal. It was also more complex than the other two verse I had written.

Black & Yellow verse:
STL on my New Era, bumpin' that Carrera
The top is where I'm lookin', feel I'm close like Rivera

Don't have no time for errors, while fans argue who's better

I just rearrange these letters that explain every endeavor

Songs about these women that I felt I couldn't get

Mendoza line average, swear I couldn't get a hit

Now chicks send dirty texts, and to her it's just rehearsin'

But I'm hoping what she's writing she will really do in person

Heh, remember days in 12th grade

Dreaming of the ways me and nigga could get paid

If you would've asked JF then I thought that I'd be Jay

Now I'm yelling "see me now", got me feeling like 'Ye

Not really complex you know, but sort of. I mean, it's intricate for what the song is I guess.

St. Louis on my hat representing where I'm from as I play Lupe (who calls himself Carrera Lu). Then I say how I want to be on top (of St. Louis' rap game at least), so I feel like making songs will bring me closer. Or close like Mariana Rivera, the famous closer for the NY Yankees. I'll say how I really have no time to mess up because rappers these days are better and better, so I'll just do my best and translate the world as I see it: one of my fave topics being women who I couldn't get. The Mendoza line is a baseball term for people with a low batting average, so I couldn't get a hit. But now women like me all of a sudden. Thing is, they say they do, but I still don't get play like I feel I should based on these women liking me. That's why I'm hoping that what she's writing she will really do. Then I end the verse about daydreaming of being famous and on top, feeling like I could be Jay-Z ... when now I just want people to pay attention to me so I yell "see me now?!" like Kanye's song.

Eh?