Flight Risk

I feel as if I'm never going to write another blog. Not sure if it's a lack of anything to say, or if I've just been too busy. Probably the latter.

I'm not even sure how much later I'm going to be awake seeing as how I feel like s-h-i-t. I have a sore throat, which is probably the result of standing outside for 45 minutes in the cold for a pair of boots. I got them though, and WHEW! ... they're so nice.

Nothing has really slowed me down for the past 2-3 weeks, so this cold/sore throat will hopefully do that. I mean, going to bed at 8:30? I haven't done that in weeks ... maybe months.

If it wasn't 40 degrees outside and if I wasn't so sick I would walk outside. Listening to this song, thinking about things. I haven't really thought out loud in this blog for awhile because some things I would like to keep inside. Some I don't mind talking about.

So, is it possible for me to feel worthless right now, and at the same time feel like the fucking man? To be fly and all of that, and still feel like there are parts of you that are unidentified? I've been living life so much that I haven't even though too much about myself lately. Like, who I am, who I'm being, etc.

The guys at my job for the most part just talk to mad girls there. On some player-type shit. It seems like a club at times. And I admonished it for the most part. Now, here I am kind of involved in that kind of stuff. It seems that at some point my, and this is not self-proclaimed, flyness became noticed. Or something to that effect. At which point I guess the women at my job began noticing more and more of and reacting to such. Telling me I was handsome, blah blah ... just regular ol' hype shit. But as Jeanri would say, hype kills. lol. So I never entertained it much, just with a "thank you".

Eventually I started talking to this girl C*****e. So we're close and whatnot, and today had one of those conversations ("what do you see in a girl? how many people have you slept with") ... that I guess is the precursor to being/doing whatever. I can tell that she's at that step (bf/gf) ALMOST. But you all know meeeeee.

Lol. I don't think I do bf/gf anymore. Seriously. Besides, someone already called dibs on me. ;]

Seriously, I don't know if I do bf/gf anymore. Just too many things that you have to do and invest in, and I don't know if I have the time/heart for it. I did, and there was a time where I wanted a gf sooooo bad. Now that I could probably have a couple, I feel a little different.

Safe to say I do like the girl, but I'm not at that point, and don't think I ever will be. Of course I've got myself in a little predicament, but hey, I'm Eric. She did give me this bomb massage though ... definitely has those gf-material hands. ha!

Those that know me however know how picky I am, and she has too many ? marks against her. And she has a kid. And it isn't as if I discriminate against girls with kids ... but the baby daddy thing? I don't fancy myself getting involved in it.

[sigh] She may just get the boot like Timbalands. corny shit.