At what point does my addiction to [ ] end?
I ask myself this question a lot. I wish it would end, infinitely. Nothing about it is something I would wish in my life. It's no good for me, and I know it, yet I can't help but to engage in it.
I love it. I know I shouldn't, but to me, it is sort of hard not to. I guess there's an allure to it, that I so desperately want. But then again, I don't. When I lay in bed and think about it, sometimes it consumes my mind.
I pray(ed) about it.
That helped for a little while.
I really wish that it didn't control me sometimes. I feel as if I'm not myself afterwards. Maybe that's guilt. What I need is self-control, but there's always that voice in my head that says there are good reasons as to why I do what I do.
Really ... there are none.
I wish it would stop.
I'll write more later. This was just on my mind.
3 comments:
when the guilt consumes you then things have gone to far. thats when whatever your problem is starts to eat at you from the inside out. not a good look. ive been there and i've just had to be ruthless in my self control and eliminate everything that propelled me to go there. i don't know what the problem is or if its the kind of thing that is caused by something else, so i dont know how helpful this long ass comment is.
just remember we're all human and we're all imperfect, shit happens. the most important thing is move forward. as humans we can't undo what we've done we can just control how we act in the future.
agrees with blogger above me. i love when some1 else can write wut im going to say . so much easier.
good blog -
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