lifeline.

My mind is winding down as I listen to "John Mayer Trio". As well as some Ben Harper. Just taking a break from all the noise that is...rap. Weird for me to say that, since I am, in some sort of twisted way, a rapper.

Thinking about my former. How comfortable I felt while with her.
-turns off light.

My eyes hurt. From the artificial light. I guess everything artificial around me, is indeed destroying me. Some people around me were pretty spurious, which is getting to me. Like John Mayer says, "gravity is working against me, and gravity, wants to bring me down."

Back to the previous statement. I'm just remembering how comfortable I felt with her. Since I was worried about falling in love with her, I suppressed a few of my feelings. Eventually, that was my downfall. She felt that I didn't care. In actuality, I cared too much. So much that it scared me. Left me insecure. Unobservant to her true feelings. Her honorable intentions.

Now, there is no such thing as her and I. This, however, is as much her fault as mine. Or maybe it is just mine. I've tried to relate that I want us to talk more. I think. Because when I look back on it, I feel like I've been somewhat of an idiot to her. Always making her feel like it's her fault, when we should share the blame.

-switches to Ben Harper's "Ben Harper & The Innocent Criminals"
Track No. 10. Paris Sunrise.m4a
lol. I see everyone write .mp3 so yeah, I'm different. =]

Now on to you. Huh. I doubt that you're reading this, although you might be. You should. I guess. Geez, I like you. BUT. Yes, like there almost always is...but. But, I'm so unsure about you. You're a gem, that is certain. The guy that gets you is definitely going to be happy. Unfortunately, or maybe fortunately...I've taken the time to analyze myself with girls. And by doing that, I'm not sure if our types blend. If we'll truly like eachother three years from now. I may be jumping myself too...you may not even feel all of this that I'm feeling. Heh. Just thinking about you now, I'm wondering...