2-13-11

I feel like I could be | | close to snapping. That close.

Two of my friends are constantly on me to find out ways to make this Miami trip happen and it's beyond evident to me that they think I have infinite time to just run around calling a hundred places, fit them into an itinerary, go to banks (which is hard to do on Saturdays, esp. when you get off of work at 2 am), etc. It feels like they want me to just drop everything I'm doing -- no, it feels like they don't think I have anything to do besides sit and draw plans for them and this trip.

My life is busy. I understand everyone has a busy life, but I have to cram time in to sleep. I get sleep in two periods of 3 and 4 hours a day. That's on good days. I don't eat dinner during the week because I'm usually sleeping before I go to work. I come home, sleep for 3 hours then go to school. In between that I have to somehow study outside of school, finish articles for the school paper which no one knows I just got accepted to because who cares about shit in my life and maybe do some extra-curricular type of stuff that I want to do, like take pictures. Somehow through all of this I try my best not to stress out because it'd do me no good.

I get all of these stories from them about being busy busy busy, yet me? It's just assumed that I have nothing to do.

The worst feeling is that feeling like no one around cares about things you're going through. It's compounded with the Internet too because then you eventually feel like online people care more than the people who are right there with you. Best friends and such are very much caught up in their own world, disregarding your own ... and then you have random people asking how your day is going and connecting with you.

Something is very wrong with all of this.