amazing.

Beautiful eh? I know.

So I was thinking right, which can either be a very enlightening thing, or a not so enlightening thing. And I was thinking about the time when I was thissss close to basically making love with the one girl who has, at the very least, been the closest to my heart for the past 4 or 5 months. And how we decided not to because she has a boyfriend. And the entire situation is a messy one.

"Trying to be the best girlfriend you can be ... still you sneak, a look at me, and girl I love it."

I do. I love how she feels about me, and how I feel about her. I'm just this huge believer in karma and every time I talk to her it's more than flirting because the feelings are obviously pretty strong there. So for that reason I feel bad at times for her boyfriend. Weird huh? But yeah, I know if I had a girlfriend I'd be hot if she had these feelings for some other guy.

So I don't even know what to do. I feel like I have to step back from talking like that to her for peace of mind. Doesn't matter how much she and I wished this situation was different, it isn't right now. It's so weird in my head because I probably SHOULDN'T feel this way, but in my mind it'd be better if she devoted all of her emotion to her boyfriend. I don't want to take away from how she feels about him, and honestly the only reason why I've come to this conclusion is because of how she talks about how much he adores her. And that makes me feel sort of guilty.

I don't know.

Hey, but look at what I just got:

Yah, I'm sure I'll have plenty of fun with this. And what's the first thing that I watch?

Omg, I'm never going to sleep. This is ridiculous.

Today is technically Saturday too. I don't think I have much to do. Go to the mall, spend NO money (well maybe a little), come home and watch the Lakers, and then sleep. That's it. All of my friends went out of town to a toga party. I was fine not going lol. I'm just so indifferent to parties now. At one point I was going so much it actually affected a potential relationship. Now I can't really stand them. And I know a girl who I liked, but she parties like three times a week. I didn't even know that was possible.

"Got damn she fine, but she parties all the time."

Anyway, I gotta go finish Spongebob and get in a few games of baseball on the PS3.

Peace!