amazing.

I’m super tired as I write this. I’m actually at work with the intent to post this as soon as I get home. I say intent because I’m ridiculously tired, and the bed seems like it’ll be the first place I go. I was planning on hitting the shower first but even that seems out of reach. Must … get … to bed.

It doesn’t feel like tomorrow is my birthday, but I just figure that the older you get the less fanfare comes with moving closer and closer to death. I don’t even know what I’m going to do. I honestly plan on having breakfast by myself early in the morning, and then going to get myself a new hat and that’s it. No going out, nothing. Just chillin’ by myself like usual. I’ve had my eye on a Pittsburgh Pirates fitted, the black one with the yellow “P”. In the past I was collecting every hat in the MLB, but that’s when I had a lot of hair. I ended up giving those hats away to my cousin. About 9 of them. Ugh.

It’d be pretty cool to spend my birthday with someone special, but I just have a feeling it’ll be years before I get to really enjoy my b-day with a female. Like, have it special and everything, her doing a surprise for me. That’s cool though, I’ll survive. I do miss a particular female, that kind of sucks. Even though she technically isn’t mine, I still miss her. I’m allowed that right?

I have a fear that I’ll meet someone else and I won’t get the opportunity to love her like I want to right now. Or vice versa. Is that even a normal thought? I have no idea.

Oh, and can someone make me write a song? Please? I’d appreciate that because I really want to but I have no motivation right now. Well, beside seeing people making money doing music and me making money doing something I don’t want to be doing for a long time. I need to go back to school. SCHOOL SCHOOL. Not in Missouri. Chicago kind of made me upset when I was there, the fact it was so busy. It was annoying, and ugh. Now though, I miss it. I want to go to school there almost, but I don’t. Chicago is one of those places that, my friend and I discussed, you have to be there with someone. You can’t be there alone.

And one more thing … for my birthday tomorrow, women should dance in the street wearing Kobe jerseys. I’d appreciate that.