Yield.

I'm not a huge fan of Halloween. Haven't really been since the 5th grade. We would have like, a parade around the schoolyard and then mingle for candy in the gym. Then, at night we would have a party. In 5th grade. A party. At night. Lol, I loved going to a "gifted" school.

Nowadays there aren't any things in Halloween for me, with the exception of girls. For some reason the day of Hallow's eve or w/e, idk, seems to cause them to wear nurse and catwoman and schoolgirl outfits. Go figure.

The candy doesn't interest me TOO much. As soon as you hit about 15 you realize they sell candy all year around and for just $1 you can get 2 Snickers at the cornerstore. High supply, low demand.

No, Halloween isn't much of a big deal to me since it's yearlong. How so?

Well I like candy. And I like girls. I like some candy. I like some girls. Some candy is nasty and well, you know. Some candy tastes sooooo good and ... LOL.

So many types of candy, so many girls.

Snickers: This is your best girl. She's the one that completely satisfies you no matter what. "Hungry, why wait?" You need to go find one of these if you're a guy, they're the longtime favorites.

Skittles: This girl is your fun girl. She can't be a Snickers because you can't relate on a mature level ... plus she's bisexual. "Taste the rainbow"?! That's all good for a freak, but not a main girl.

Now & Laters: Your sometimes girl. You might hook up with her Monday ... not talk to her for 2 weeks and then randomly see her at Target and get right back in the groove. Continuity doesn't even describe Now & Later's. Oh, btw ... has anyone had the soft ones? ZOMG.

M&M's: I was going to be ignorant and say these were the really dark skinned girls. lmao. No, these are the girls that are plain. They come a dime a dozen, and there's nothing spectacular about them. Everyone dates a few of them, and you probably forget you did.

Butterfingers: These are the fake girls. They're totally misleading. You think they're one way (the yellow wrapper) when you suddenly realize they're entirely different (black and crunchy).

German Chocolate: If you get one of these in a Halloween bag, you've hit the jackpot, just like in real life. Here you have an exotic woman. Latin, Russian, Asian, etc. You may not know how this chocolate is made, or understand a word she's saying ... but damnit, you don't care. It's so good.

Baby Ruth: Personally, I don't like these ... and they sound fat. So these are obese girls? Oooh, I'm so wrong.

Milky Way: Weird, out of this world girls. The ones that get you doing yoga and eating tofu dinners ... while telling you your horoscope. Be aware of hexes.

Sweet Tarts: You hate to break up with these girls. Really, they do nothing wrong in your relationship. They're incredibly nice and sweet and just an overall good person. Too bad that's the opposite of you lol.

So this Halloween I don't think I'll be walking door to door looking for any sweets. Nah, I'm going to try to find me a Snickers bar lol (corny ending line, I know).

Word to MetLife.