you've done your time in Hell.
When people tell me I'm too complex or that I go in circles I always saw it as a compliment ... but now I recognize it as an insult of sorts. I wish I was simpler. Sometimes I don't deserve to have someone be nice to me. I admit I can at times be somewhat of an ass I guess. Usually never outwards, mostly in my head. However, with the loss of a 'friendship' recently I am coming to terms with people and myself. That wasn't much of a loss considering I felt as if that person was mostly condescending towards me, but what of other relationships?
I think my lack of caring may have caught up to me. I can't imagine the last time I truly allowed myself to be 100% with a person. Not 100% in the sense of 100% truthful, but giving them 100% of me. Factor #2 in said in aborting friendship above.
I think I do more self-reflecting than the average, yet still am in a scramble. Lol. Life is amusing. It took hanging out with my boys today to realize how I can be different, but still the same. I like that.
Everyone strives to be different than everyone else, which in this day and age is something extremely hard to accomplish. From the music we listen to, the way we dress, to the clothes we wear, we try to put an individualistic spin on it. Thing is, it's a feat that is rarely accomplished. For as much as we want to be ourselves, and something different, we're always following someone else. I know at times I defer and I can't say it's always the best thing ... but it is life. I try to walk this path that no one has tread before, and believe that I am ... until I look down and see that the wind has just covered up someone else's footprints.
That applies a lot to my music too. The things that I write and think of, I want to be more of me, than of anyone else. It's cool to hear someone say that I write, or rather, sound like a Lupe. Or remind them of him or some other above decent rapper. But at the end of the day, it'd be nicer to have someone tell someone else that they sound like JF Kennedy. Yehknow?\
Anyway, no more rambling ... uhm, thank you to "you" for the pictures. I hate you're so gorgeous. It's hard to be mad at you lol. maybeiamsorrybutyoushouldbetoo? yeah.
6 comments:
1st. like the new change of the blog.
2nd. poignant blog entry. i would offer some advice but i don't have any. i don't really "know" you but i find you very interesting.
i don't really know you like that, like ol' girl said but i can see you are a complex individual & nice page.
one day you'll have them screaming JF Kennedy lol. I believe in you. I've read some of your stuff on here, and it's nice.
and you by far have one of the dopest playlists. I may need to steal 3-5 songs or something.
anywho,
peace and all that awesome shit.
This was... a really good post.
usually I'd sit, and comment on every piece of your post - but, i don't think that's quite necessary now.
NOPE! I DONT THINK I SHOULD BE SORRY AT ALL! BECAUSE I DIDNT DO A THING! but im glad u liked them dork<3 i still love u no matter what. but you are def one of the MOST CONFUSING BEINGS I'VE EVER MET.
good post yo. but i feel wut u sayin and understand 120% lol it suckz that you lack careness cuz den sometimes u hurt ppl wit that feeling .. and yeah alot of ppl TRY to be different but then again they end up actin and bein the same as the ppl they see on tv - the media made the hype nd ppl kill themselves to follow it - and its good you try to walk in your OWN footsteps not anybody elses.
and you'll have them ppl who will say you sound like so&so anyways its cuz they dont know music if they gota compare your work to some1 else - you are your own person wit own words so ull have ppl cheerin nd shouttin 4 u .. one day
much love.2s
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