lovers in apex.

Went to see Wanted last night and I must say, it was pretty amazing. I jumped a few times and kept looking to my friends like "wth!". Plus, it has her: Why wouldn't it be a good movie?

I'm shopping right now for guitars. Hopefully by the end of the week I'll have one, or maybe next week? I say hopefully because, I'm conserving money ... especially after I made a useless $40 purchase today. I could've bought two tee's instead. Or some Nike sandals. Or ... a whole bunch of pepsi! Or put it toward my guitar. But it's okay, I'm actually doing good budgeting so it's alright.

I did go to Target today however, my favorite store. Came home with this, which contained this
I'll most likely watch a couple episodes of Boondocks and then hit the sheets.

Anyhoo, I think I'd like to start something new that I was thinking of. I'm going to find a song on my iPod, take a verse from it, and try to expand on what it means to me. It could be hip-hop, rock, whatever ... I'll probably start that tomorrow or Monday.

Today I'd like to kind of speak on loneliness. I was riding the metrolink yesterday to meet some friends and found myself the only person in the train, or at least on my car. It was weird, being there all by my lonesome when I'm usually packed tight in a car with people.

So I got to thinking which I find myself doing A LOT lately ... about how would it feel if I were all alone.

I like being alone most of the time, but of course I need human contact. This is not a Harry Harlow experiment. Oh, for those of you that haven't heard of him, go look him up. Its crazy.
But back to what I was saying, I was imagining living through life with no-one. No friends, relatives, anything ... and it worried me. Worried me because to me, it was a slight possibility. I was scared that I could lose everyone near to me, be left with basically nothing, be a nobody.
What worried me more was never finding my love.

I dream of being a father to three kids. Playing catch with my sons, taking my daughter to breakfast, just the two of us. Laying in bed on Saturday mornings with my wife, listening to John Mayer lol. I dream of these things frequently because I wish them to oneday become reality.
If I was alone though, that could never be true ...

So that frightened me. And I unboarded the metrolink at my stop and looked around for signs of people, something to let me know I wasn't here alone, that I wasn't Legend. And as I walked off the platform I saw a father with his daughter, she not more than 4 years old. She was holding his hand and he was carrying her tiny backpack. They were together, far from alone.

I walked down the stairs and looked into the almost dark sky and saw a few stars. All of them accompanied by more stars. One of them glistened above the rest, which was hard because it wasn't yet dark enough for them to be fully visible, and realized ... I never will be alone. Now you figure that out.