I'm playing with myself. I torture myself. To think that you and I would ever amount to something is crazy. I'm such a serious guy when it comes to the women I pursue. I like things to be 'this' and 'that', cut and dry. No guesswork between you and I. I sense that you're not exactly that kind of person. Maybe you're too flippant, and I'm too conservative. I can't believe I missed you today. I'm supposed to be in a "who needs a girl" mode. Then you come around, and it's whatever. I like you ... I desire you ... don't think that I need you ... and I don't know your motives.
So I throw away my emotions, put them in my mental trashcan. There are a lot of girls there. Not a lot in that sense, but a lot in the way that I usually give girls one chance. If I'm not invested in you by that one chance, I'm done. I could blindly love you, then change my mind; as a result, that would be where I stay. I don't like to re-like girls. I think now I'm leading on an ex girlfriend because she sees another chance while I see just a casual friend. For as much as I clamor over girls, I sure do push them to the side easily. Call it a defense mechanism.
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Enough of that though. I feel like talking about my day? Well, not much of a day. Went to work and came home. Besides hearing more Lakers talk directed my way than is even necessary, it was cool.
We have a kid, Demontay, who is, to put it a good way, the spawn of Satan? Nah, but this kid is bad. I guess he learned a new word at home? because he went around calling one of our counselors "bitch bitch bitch bitch". OKAY. Well, as if that wasn't enough he also has become enamored with putting up the middle finger. : His mom says he's 5, but I don't believe it. I really think he's 3.
This kid is so crazy and when I kept telling him "Montay, I love you," he acting like I was dousing him with holy water. I tell him that because a lot of kids don't hear that at home. It is crazy the things some little kids go through. I just want to make sure he knows someone cares for him, even if he deserves to be in a cage.
We also have a kid with cerebral palsy. Who only wants to drink milk. Never eats his meals ... unless he's asking for mine. Pfft! Lol, he knows what he's doing, although he's 10 with the mindstate of a 5-6 yr. old. I even managed to teach him the witchdoctor song from Alvin & The Chipmunks. We went on a field trip to see that today. It was alright.
I'm awaiting Real World tonight. I have to say, I'm jealous of Will for landing Janelle. I might have to finally get some dreads lol. No actually, I'm looking for new hair ideas? Got a suggestion? Tell me. Seriously too, I'm tired of the same ol' same ol'. Just put it in the comments or tmail me. dumb_fly@tmail.com.
Oh. And I didn't forget my pick for girl of the week. Ha Stacey! I CAN do it. Non-celebrity girl pending lmao.
