tar-gayyy

haven't been on myspace in 3 days.
:O

first message i see.

"hi eric i like ur song.... didn't know u had it n u. Not tryin to joc but u look kinda cute on ur pics, u have really surprised me. Well I was just sayin hi, see u at work."

:D


[turns on shuffle]
In my mind, I fight with myself.
Literally. I wage war against myself, usually coming out on top. Then again, I lose also I guess. I mean, how can you fight yourself, especially within your head? I just have the feeling that my brain/mind is separated into two halves. And I have one half, and the other half is controlled by some malicious being who only seems to want to wreak havoc and cause mass confusion and hysteria inside of me.

Thus is why I feel as if I fight within myself.

[marques houston - favorite girl]

I guess while at work I did a lot of thinking. Generally speaking. I ponder a lot. Reflect a lot. I think I'm in touch with myself for the most part. I mean, excluding the fighting myself thing. But I try to understand my feelings on certain subjects and why I feel these ways and if they're justifiable.

[the pack ft. lil wayne - vans remix]

I think over the course of the day I run through a bevy of emotions. For the most part I'm confused. Not about myself though, but other people. Life. The world. It's all some crazy shit. And I know that I may seem eccentric or off the wall or w/e for this but

[ghostface ft. mf doom - in the rain]

i think of the world that I'm part of as a galaxy. I could be the ruler of this universe. All of you people that I interact with a planets. The other world, that is so big, but we're not truly a part of I guess because we're not famous, idk, is another galaxy. But yeah, you're all planets. I have a spot reserved for the sun but idk, w/e to her. And I oversee all of you. And just rule, not with an iron fist, but with strong fingers.

Weird huh?

Try being me.

[yung joc - i know you see it]

Let me now speak on some situations. Idk. Except for one, because I get NO LOVE on that front in the concordant piece of literature. NO, you're not really supposed to understand that. You can though if you think.

WORK.
I hate it. So much. I think I'm in this zone where I don't even care anymore. Like, I still work blah blah ... but I just am not doing much. When my boss is there, she works me to death, as does her manager. But when they're not, or when I can escape them somehow ... I just sit and think. About so much random shit. I really do hate that place though, for what it is and how me and my bank account get treated.

[jay-z - girls best friend]

SCHOOL.
I'm slacking. I know. I just ... at some point recently lost the heart to go to school. It's such a bore. I don't even feel as if I'm retaining anything. I just do what I do to get by and I don't necessarily like that.

MUSIC.
I don't even know. I have so much motivation to just do it. Then when I want to, I find I don't have necessary resources. That's depressing. It is such a form of meditation though. When I get in a certain mood, it's natural to pick up the pen and just write ... or just turn on a beat and write on here. I want to improve though ... and it's like I know I can but it won't come out. So that is kind of frustrating.

[cassie - me & u]

Maybe because of this song I should talk about "HALT." No I won't lol.

[jay-z] you only get half a bar ... [/jay-z]
or line. whatever.

oh ... iPods ... are like little plastic things of HEAVEN that are causing me HELL.

and costing me a lot of money.

go to the other blog for an interesting story.

here.

Anywayyyy ...

I hope Apple calls me ... about the job.

And I hope I can transfer all of this music easier.

And I hope Jay has a good birthday, giant ass.

Adub just hit me up with a "YESSSSSIIRRRRR" for no reason lol.

-goes to finish 'Jumper' with the prettiest girl I know.

or not. =[ -mutters- CARS SUCK.

she's still the prettiest though.