amazing.

I love the smell of rain. Or ozone. Whatever. All that matters is that I kind of love it.

This isn't going to be some deep blog about how rain washes away the old and brings in the new, although I am really wishing for that. The bringing in of new. Currently undergoing some light washing of old and it isn't as refreshing as say, an early morning drizzle during Spring.

I've been thinking a lot lately about what I want. This isn't voluntary thinking, but kind of forced upon me. I was asked (which was more like interrogated), "what do YOU want," and I couldn't really come up with a viable answer. That is, an answer that sounded good and wouldn't make the person madder, while also not putting me in an uncompromising position.

I have zero idea what it is that I want.

My view of happiness is ever-changing, meaning that what makes me happy today may not make me happy a week ago, and that doesn't sit well with people. People don't like it when you change. It's better for you to be stagnant, and consistent. That way they always know what to expect of you.

Unfortunately I wasn't built in a factory.

What I want is the most eluding thing in my life right now. If I could catch it, I'd be happy, and that is not ever-changing. My happiness hinges on knowing what I want, and knowing what I want depends on what'll make me happy.

You can imagine the problems that this causes in my life.