I have a ton of things to do today, on my off-day. Off-days always seem to be busier than the days you work. Terrible. I have to write some verse for the studio session tonight ... I want to try to record my video for Rebecca ... and catch some sleep? Recently I've been getting around 4 hours of sleep a day. Seriously. Which is bad since I'm working overtime and clocking 10 1/2 hours a day. Being awake for 19 1/2 hours a day is NO good. I'm pretty sure I can die from that. I'm going to have to check that out on webmd or something lol.
"but who i am beneath the surface
i never let surface
'cause at face value most these chicks deem me worthless"
So yeah, when I wrote that earlier this week (to Jay-Z's "Never Change"). In that song I'm going to touch on a few subjects and I think as I write the song (might take a week) I'll post bits from the verse and kind of explain them.
So yeah, pretty much I'm a complex guy. Or maybe complicated. I'm not sure which is better to be, but I'm either or, or maybe both. I mean, just those last three sentences were confusing. Some people have guards they put up so they won't get hurt ... me, I don't really do that. I think that being hurt is actually necessary in life. Vulnerability is definitely missing in society. What I mean by those three lines is that I don't like to divulge too much on who I really am to females. If they were to just see me walking then they might classify me as weird or w/e ... or just someone far from who they usually "talk" to. Thus, the "deem me worthless" line. It seems like the majority of women I meet automatically figure me to NOT be their type. If they feel this way, then why would I try to show them who I really am? They already dismissed me ...
"that don't really hurt me since i know most are ratchet
got a chain & a whip w/some dreads? you can have it
i'm not tryna hit it, easy sex? i ain't wit it
most feel, but most really won't admit it"
Those four lines sum up my feelings totally toward women in St. Louis. The majority of them I must say. Probably women in general thinking about it. It's about what you have more than who you are. With guys, we may be shallow, but we don't care about the material. A dimepiece with a '93 Acura is still a dimepiece ... just with a '93 Acura. For women, or so it seems from my perspective, an unattractive male that would treat you wrong is desirable ... if he's ballin'. I guess that's just because women like security? I don't know.
Point is, I recognize what most girls are. That's why "i ain't wit it" ... or with them. Pay them no mind. Most guys will take easy sex, but in reality, "most really won't admit" that they don't want a girl that would do that.
Idk, I hope that made sense. I can't be as deep as Jay-Z was on the song lol. Whenever I start the next verse I'll kind of break that down too I guess.
P.S.
Time to go shopping for the winter. Well, I'm overdue ... but due to my overtime (lol) ... I can splurge a little more. I'm most likely picking up all of these pieces within the next week. And I just ordered the glasses.
And I REALLY want these two items ... but I can't find the wallet anywhere, and the jacket may be too expensive considering I could buy a nice topcoat for almost the same price.
2 comments:
i have my own personal conspiracy theory as to why days off are busier than work days, but i shall reserve that for another time. and i doubt you're gonna die from being awake for 19 1/2 hours, but i'm sure you can get sick and being that sick will kill you. lol.
Nice taste in clothing I must say.
I'm gonna rape your playlist. ):
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