daily.

I wrote a lot. And none of it satisfied me. It felt like rambling and until I can get those thoughts organized and clear, I won't post them. At the very least, I'll go into some of what I was feeling though.

I hate being lied to. Or misled. If the cold hard truth is going to kill me, tell me. I take lying to be so offensive. Yes, I am a contradiction because I openly admitted that I lie sometimes. By no means am I trying to justify that when I say that I lie because most people can't stand the truth. But they can't. As for me, tell me. Don't fabricate. I can literally go from your best friend to a mere acquaintance if I feel as if I was decieved. I'm the guy who will probably divorce his wife is she cheated just once. Well, not probably. I would ... and I uphold the sanctity of marriage to the highest degree so that explains that there.

I talk to multiple girls. It's what I do. Not because I'm some pimp or player. Far from either one. It's because I can not stand to trust any girl enough to make her my gf. You see, I have never cheated on a girl, and don't ever plan to. So I can't make that step knowing that I don't trust what she's doing and knowing that it'll make me what to leave or worse, go be with someone else in the confines of our relationship.

I also know that I'm a jealous male. I wish I wasn't, but past experiences have made me this way. From girls possibly cheating (she denies it) to guys stealing girls from right under me, I haven't necessarily had the best experiences. So sometimes I take everything a girl says to me literally. That's part of the reason that I hate when girls give me compliments, because its so ... common. Like, anyone can get a compliment.

So since I'm a jealous guy, I like reassurance. And to most of girls I talk to, I like to know I'm the only one that they mess with. So I may sometimes ask a couple questions to figure out whether or not I am. Of course they'll tell you yes. Then, following the natural events of life, you always find out that you're not.

Why would I even care though? I don't even consider that girl as a potential gf. Well, I won't lie and say I wasn't propositioning it ... but damn, not anymore. All over a simple ass lie. I'm a hard guy to please, this I know. I cut people out quickly, this I know. What can I say.