this must be heaven.

3 parts. 1) survey. 2) ranting 3) more ranting? mk? k.

Part 1.

1. Put your iTunes on shuffle.
2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.
3. You must write that song name down no matter what.

Q. What would best describe your personality?
A. Fly As Me - T.I. : LMAO. How fitting eh? For someone that calls themself dumb fly. I think this music/question thing may be pretty nice.

Q. What do you like in a guy/girl?
A. Wet Wipes - Cam'Ron : Uhm ... i have nothing to explain for this one. I'm trying ... but no. lmao.

Q. How do you feel today?
A. Free Fallin - Tom Petty : Some of you might know him from the guy @ the Halftime show, Super Bowl. I do feel kind of ... out there today. Or everyday. Just out of the world. And like the song says, "i wanna write her name in the sky."

Q. What is your life's purpose?
A. Grew Up A Screw Up - Ludacris : So I'm supposed to rap. No matter how weird I was younger ... I gotta make something of my life. Whether it was rap or something else ... I have to get out of the mindset that I was put in from an early age.

Q. What is your motto?
A. More Than Words - Frankie J : Maybe it is ... there are so many things that you can't even express in words. I mean, humans are defined by more than their words ... remember that.

Q. What do your friends think of you?
A. Slutsbitchescuntswhoresgrabmycock - Azizi Gibson : I mean ... so you all think that I get tons of girls? Hey hey now. Ey ... don't hate though.

Q. What do you think of your friends?
A. C'Mon - Mario : I honestly ... have no idea. :|

Q. What do you think of your parents?
A. 21 Questions - 50 Cent : I have 21 questions for my father ... but I would prolly never ask him because he talks for so longgggggg.

Q. What is your life story?
A. Grindin' Freestyle - Fabolous : I kind of dig this. I guess my life is a grind, and ... the freestyle part can represent my improvising my life. I never know what I'm going to do next ... kind of like rhymes in a cipher.

Q. What do you want to be when you grow up?
A. Kill You - Eminem : I guess either a murderer ... or a white rapper. Maybe just a rapper.

Q. What is your hobby/interest?
A. When You're Mad - Ne-Yo : I guess I like to make girls mad. IDK!

Q. What will they play at your funeral?
A. Purify Me - India.Arie : AWWE! I wish I would be purified ... and go to Heaven. =[ But no, I hope that I have that effect on that special woman so at my funeral [:(] she feels I was this way in the song towards her.

Q. What is your biggest secret?
A. I Want You - Common : I mean ... if it's a secret that I want "you" ... I'm not getting my point across.

lol. Some of those were really weird ... and didn't make sense ... but it was fun. LMAO @ some of them.

Part II.

I want a girl, when I want a girl
And when I don't want a girl, I want a girl who understands that
And that's some hard shit to explain

Word to Little Brother. That last verse was amazing.

And this is weird ... but I started playing Drake and while looking for a cover for his mixtape 'Room for Improvement' I ran across an interview. And I read this, which is amazing considering what I had just wrote up above.

HHC: What is the greatest verse you have ever heard in your life, and why?
That's such a tough question. I think greatest verse I ever heard, or the realest verse I ever heard was Phonte on this Little Brother record with Darien Brockington called "Slow It Down" and Jay-Z's " Lucky Me." I liked the Phonte verse because I had never heard somebody describe exactly the way I think about the women that I deal with in life.

That verse was so real though.

Sometimes I think I'm from another world (preach)
When I'm trynna tell a woman just exactly where I stand that (aight)
I want a girl, when I want a girl
And when I don't want a girl, I want a girl who understands that
And that's some hard shit to explain
To a woman that's in love with you, it's a pitiful thing
Until I had to figure
That I don't wanna play around, but I don't wanna settle down
And that's a man's dilemma, 'cause every man remembers
How his daddy and his uncles did it
'Cause more than likely that's the way they're gonna do it
I know it sound fucked up and most wont admit it
But yo, I gotta face it 'cause I know I'm living through it
'Cause when the party stops and niggaz get old
And the chain and the cars and the houses get sold, and that
Other side of the bed gets cold, you don't wanna be alone
So girl I'm trynna hold you..


That's kind of how I feel right now. I want to like ... say you're my girl. Claim you. Treat you like my girl, all of that ... but without the title? I'm just careful with my heart, after being treated like such and such for so long. I swear though, if you were like, "it's okay," I'd probably just ask you right now.

It's like ... you search for this person, then ... when you think you've found them you don't even act on it lmao. But yo ... taking it slow is a marvelous thing! It really is. And they all try to rush what this is. Which sucks.

And to tell the truth ... the distance makes me want to say, " fuck it. " All of it. But the conversations! ... they make me want to say, "screw the distance ... can we do this?" Then I wonder, but you know what? I think I would like you later on in my life ... like, towards the point when all I want is one girl. And I do want one girl now, but maybe you don't want just one guy. Maybe you're still testing the field. I've tested the field ... I'm pretty much done. But are you? Cuz I don't want in 6 months, this to grow stale. You did say you get bored easily ...

Part III.

Life. Is in my head going okay, but in reality, I probably should take more control. I really don't want to though. I hate how I have to live according to money. You can't have it when you're gone, so I like to spend. Spend not to just spend ... but to make me happy. But I guess ... judging by this list, I have goals and priorities. So I'm going to work on those. I hate looking over my shoulder at all the things I have to do to get my life on track. I really want things to be easy ... and to have the means to do what I want.

I guess I'm waiting on the summertime. I always seem to have more financial freedom that time of year, and not only that ... but there's a couple of other things that I'm looking forward to. So I guess I want to get past this patch, this cold part of the year and move toward the warm times.

I have no school, no work tomorrow ... so I'm definitely going to go online and fill out some more job applications.
I'm thinking of staying up all night to write and just listen to some music ... so if you want to get at me, you know how. I guess I might answer, depending on who it is lol.

Vibing to this "Sittin' Sideways - Lupe & Jay-Z". Sick. I don't understand, as I was venting to Liz, how anyone could not like Jay-Z. It just doesn't make sense. No one has been more versatile than him, accomplished what he has accomplished in the rap game. He literally is ... the Michael Jordan of the rap game. He's been your favorite rapper's favorite rapper at some time in their life. Whether or not you like the people who hate on him right now, they still at one point loved him ... Wayne ... Budden ... Peedi ... Cam ... all of them. And I guarantee all of them would die to have the iconic status that he holds in the game. There are no more icons in the rap game. Kanye may very well be the last one. T.I. was there, I guess. Wayne was getting there, but he is his own downfall. Ludacris scratched it ... but nah. No one has the longevity anymore.

Well ... just wait until JF finds his groove. Lol.

Anyway, this blog was extra long.

IM BACK.