amazing.

Not really a fan of horoscopes, though recently I was going through sexstrology and just decided to do some more research on all of that stuff and whatnot. Kind of interesting what I ran across considering what I wrote yesterday:

"Taurus natives are rarely jealous and petty. They do, however, think of the people they love as theirs -- it adds to their sense of security."

When I read that I was just like, "whoaaa, that. is. me." The whole "tending to regard those you love as cherished objects." I remember Rebecca's comment about women not being possessions, and I didn't mean so in that kind of way when I said two girls were stolen from me. I didn't mean the women themselves, but kind of what they were to me. The bond we had? Stolen. The thought of them? Stolen. So them ... stolen.

Sorry if this blog gets a little boring or redundant. I'm kind of coming to realizations about myself through here, and I guess this is where I'm brainstorming about myself.

I like deeply. When I like someone I don't know how to go halfway. If I like you, I like you. There's no almost, or maybe. I do. And because of that I know that I tend to hang onto things. I'm not quick to give up on a 'relationship'. We could be going through some things and I know that I'm the type to want to try to stick through it to see if the sun will shine. I actually can't stand people who are in and out of relationships, or who throw things away at the slightest sign of trouble. It quite irks me.

At the same time, it takes a lot for me to fully convince myself that I'm ready to be on that kind of level with someone. The person I protect the most is me. I don't like throwing around that serious type of feeling. Casual stuff? Sure. I'll flirt with this person and that person. But that extra level? Nah, idk. I'm not too eager to invest and get myself hurt, just isn't what's up to me.

BUUUUUT ... all of this introspective thinking is making me tired. I currently have about a half hour left at work, and I know when I go home I'm going to watch Sportscenter and then go to sleep.

I also had a breakthrough of sorts, but not really, with someone. It's funny what jealousy would do. It actually motivates some people I think. At least, I believe it motivated someone to put a little bit more of themselves out there, probably because they felt threatened. Hm.